As a parent we do everything for our kids to raise them right and protect them. I have been through alot in my life from childhood thru adulthood. I have been dealing with my sons bipolar diagnosis since age 5. It has been a very wild ride. For the last couple of years, things have really turned around for my son behaviorally (I will go into that one later). His 180 has been a welcome relief as many times I wasnt sure if either of us would survive. But this isnt about him.
A couple of years ago, my seemingly "normal" daughter started having severe mood swings. Ha well shes a preteen and were thinkin shes about to "become a woman" so that would explain all the ups and downs. I have always been there for my kids and talked to them. Nothing was ever out of the ordinary. Until one day...
Its almost July and i never put 2 and 2 together. My daughter frequently wore long sleeve clothes in warm weather. We would often tell her it was too hot for such but she insisted. Not so out of the ordinary tho because she wears shorts in and goes barefooted in dead winter. But this particular day she was wearing a tank top and shorts and come to talk to me about something and I noticed her arms and I freaked!
First reaction, heart sank, anger, sadness, too many emotions to describe. She had 3 cut marks on her left arm and 3 old cut scars on her right. So apparently this had been happening for a while under my nose and I never knew :/ Her reasons were the inconsistent presence of her biological dad and the bullying from kids at school (some of which referred to her bio dad not having anything to do with her because he doesnt love her, etc)
Needless to say, she ended up having a hospital stay to put her on meds to get her stabilized. She cried, I cried. After a couple weeks and some therapy things were seemingly ok. Then long about September, it was happening again.
Meanwhile we are trying to keep an eagle eye on her every movement to make sure any innocent object doesnt turn into a cutting tool. :/ For quite some time, things seem to be going good. She has frequent random checks of arms, legs, stomach, etc.
She was hospitalized again in April of this year I believe because her meds werent working and she was unstable and hallucinating. No cutting involved. However, she did have what looked like 2 burn marks on her arm right before discharge. After being questioned about them, she said that she was itching in her sleep.
Wow how severe is the itching to rub a hole the size of a quarter in your arm, TWICE? I was concerned and we kept an eye on her. She had no further incidents.
She has been on sleeping medications since last years hospital stay because she has problems sleeping. Problems falling asleep then staying asleep and sometimes nightmares. This last time they lowered her sleeping meds because she was just so groggy all the time during the day.
2 weeks ago she came to me and told me that she had been having nightmares for quite sometime about cutting. The nightmares were so real that she felt like her arms were burning. She said she would be scratching her arm in her sleep because it hurt so bad and when she would wake up they would still be burning. She could feel a wet substance running down her arm in her dreams and right after she woke up. (blood perhaps, altho there wasnt any)
We put her back on her regular sleeping pill does thinking that might help her nightmares, but they continued. So several nights this week, I havent gotten much sleep because I would stand over her for hours and just watch. When shes out, shes a very heavy sleeper. And several times each night I would see her squirm, moan and kick and grab her wrist with the other hand and hold on to it or rub on it. Her brother even witnessed her doing it tonight while she was napping. She had fallen asleep on the couch long before he ever came in the house. But he saw her do it and came to tell me that he believes her and describes the same things I saw.
We had gone to her Dr today and told him what was going on. I am very worried about her, and she is worried too. It must be very frightening to be having that happen and seem so real. He did put her on some meds for PTSD and nightmares, but he was very dumbfounded and said that in all his years has never heard of a patient having episodes like these. :/
Anyone out there either have or know of someone who has had similar episodes??? And if so, what helped?
*heavy heart and worried mom*
God bless
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